Advicetap Blog

Advicetap Blog

Sam Zipursky

The other day as I was enjoying a strong coffee and a sun drenched morning and I started to think on the importance of undivided attention and showing interest during meetings.

You see I’ve noticed something recently – Many people don’t show enough focus or interest in the meeting and/or the person they’re meeting with.

As a business person, consultant, teacher, and DJ I get the chance to meet and communicate with lots of people! I usually enjoy meeting up with new people but over time I’ve found that many times people are only interested in what they are doing and what they have to say.

So today I decided to write a small list of some common communication pitfalls I’ve noticed in the last few months during meetings I’ve had:

  • Checking text messages or answering phone calls
    This makes sense if you’re waiting on your wife to go into labour, or a million dollar deal to come through but in general checking mails and answering phone calls during meetings is just straight up rude!
  • Poor eye contact
    I’ve met with people that continuously look around the room and at people that walk by our coffee or dinner table. I’m not sure why this happens but during a meeting try to focus and keep good eye contact with the person you’re talking to as it shows you’re interested.
  • Playing with your nails
    I met with one lady who couldn’t stop looking at her newly painted nails everytime I was talking. Maybe she was a bit bored but it surely didn’t show me she was “into” our business meeting.
  • Being the main person talking
    If you are the only one talking this usually isn’t a good thing. This is a big one people and it happens often. Make sure you are “sharing” the conversation. Asking questions, letting the other person talk or give opinions, and not interrupting. Seems to be common sense but you’d be surprised how many people forget these points.

So there you have it. A small list on what to avoid if you want to show interest when meeting up with people and working the scene.

Have I missed any pitfalls or tips here? Do you disagree? I’d love to hear your thoughts on this?

Tags: ,

This website uses IntenseDebate comments, but they are not currently loaded because either your browser doesn't support JavaScript, or they didn't load fast enough.

4 Comments

July 15, 2010@3:03 pm
Tweets that mention Meetings for Consultants & Freelancers | Advicetap -- Topsy.com

[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Advicetap and Advicetap, Sam Zipursky. Sam Zipursky said: 4 Reasons Why Most Meetings Suck! – Check it in the Advicetap Blog: http://ht.ly/2c8yj [...]

July 15, 2010@4:20 pm
James Hazelton

Too true observations Sam. Social etiquette certainly seems to have changed a heck of a lot in these modern times. So many people are always focused on their mobile texting rather than what they’re doing whether it is having a meeting or driving, one is just rude as you say and the other outright dangerous to themselves and surrounding civilians.

Poor eye contact on the other hand I find a little perplexing also, I’m not sure what the reason for it is exactly. I do know that it makes me think less of the other person immediately though in regards to their respectfulness.

July 15, 2010@7:48 pm
Jeff Waldman

Sam….. great post! Could not agree more with your perspective. I truly believe that the biggest barrier to effective meetings is technology. Don’t get me wrong, I love technology and it’s obviously a crucial element of business, but it has created more confusion and ADD-like behaviour in people today. People are unable to fully “turn off” technology and the emotions and behaviour that technology creates. Access to real-time information via technology has created the burning desire to “stay connected” and spending whatever amount of time disconnected from technology is hard to do. I truly believe that this is the reason for the pitfalls that you identified Sam. Great topic!

July 16, 2010@1:34 pm
Paul Sullivan

Hey Sam, good observations. I will say that the worst meetings for me are the ones where there is little clear direction, process and outcome.

A couple of other suggestions:
- set the agenda/goals at the outset of the meeting and get confirmation. That way, if you find that the meeting is drifting for any reason, you can reel in the individual (or group) and remind them of the commitment to the agreed-upon objective and refocus their attention;
- call them out (politely, since we are Canadian). Nothing wrong with saying “it appears you’ve been distracted by some urgent tweet on your crackberry” (or words to that effect), and ask them if they’d prefer to take a break or to get back to the discussion at hand;
- if it is a larger group or longer meeting (a strategy session for example), set boundaries in the meeting with breaks for communication updates, and fines for breach of conduct (beer fund or charity of choice contributions).
- ensure people are involved. Have a scribe, call on those not participating for comments, give them a marker & send them to the whiteboard…

As for lack of eye contact, I have lots of theories, from poor parenting to deep-seated mistrust of consultants ;-) Seriously, I think it’s important to find a way to engage the other person. Sometimes, just stopping & asking “what do you think”, will help.

Leave a comment