Advicetap Blog

Today’s guest post was written by Jeff Waldman, founder of Fusion Point in Toronto. In today’s post Jeff shares some insight on relationships and networking. Jeff has built up a huge network of meaningful connections not just “followers” so his words are worth listening too!

The world in which we live is shrinking exponentially before our eyes, and it appears that everyone knows everyone in all corners of the globe. This phenomenon is creating new kinds of relationships, but to be quite honest with you relationships are relationships because they’re with people, and the fundamentals of developing, growing and sustaining great relationships have remain unchanged. Why? People are feeling beings and the intangible things that influence how people feel don’t really change.

The methods and tools that we use in our interactions with people change daily, particularly with the explosion of social media such as Facebook, Twitter, Sprouter, Flickr, YouTube and a gazillion others. This explosion is not only happening in the Gen Y and X demographic groups, but also with Baby Boomers and to some extent the Traditionalists. Believe me, it’s critically important to stay on top of the latest and most effective tools available so that you optimize your efforts, but in my humble opinion what’s more important is being technically sound on the finer elements of relationships.

It’s pretty simple actually — the strengths of your relationships with people are based on authenticity, consistency and reciprocity. Mind blowing? Not really! Difficult to do? Absolutely! Are people good at doing this? Not really! Does it matter where your relationships exist (e.g. through social media with someone in Dubai or in-person with a neighbour)? Absolutely not!

Authenticity — be you! It’s so much easier and less exhausting when you just be yourself. When you meet someone for the very first time, subconsciously they are forming judgment about you. Be authentic right of the bat so the sub-conscious judging that goes on is based on truth and reality. There is nothing worse than meeting someone and being someone you’re not, and then over time your true colours start to naturally filter through. This is extremely detrimental to the relationship and the overall perception of “you” in the eyes of the person you have the relationship with.

Consistency — relationships should be constant, in both good times and bad, whether you’re busy or not and whether you feel like it or not. If you only work on your relationships with people sporadically or when you need something, like many people do, the other person will be turned off by this. They will form the perception in their minds that you’re contacting them only because you need something — you’re probably better off not contacting them at all if you’re not consistent.

Reciprocity — true relationships are built on mutual benefit. Both you and the other person need to obtain benefit and value from being in the relationship. A one-sided situation is not a relationship, yet the majority of so-called relationships today are not truly reciprocal and mutually beneficial. Focus on giving to the other person first and if they reciprocate you know you’re in a good situation. You would be surprised what it does to a relationship when you think of the other person first before your own. Try doing something as simple as forwarding them an article that you think might interest them — people are unbelievably appreciative when someone thinks about them, no matter how small.

Focusing on these simple fundamentals of relationships has worked extremely well for me during my career whether as a job seeker or business owner. This has been a huge source of competitive advantage for me, and has reduced the need to spend $$’s on traditional sales, promotion and marketing activities to generate business. Being good at relationships can actually be your most effective tactic to generate business, and it’s so cost-effective. All it costs you is your time. Think about it, put yourself in the shoes of a prospective client — aside from consultant fees, what do you think will be the tipping point to getting a contract? Obvious eh!

I would love to hear your thoughts, ideas and stories about the power of relationships.